I began to love a good coincidence. Oh trust me, I really do now. You might assume it is the universe or simple probability. It didn’t really matter to me. I loved every bit of it. I seemed to frequent a good coincidental moment more often than not lately. It was right there waiting to surprise me. There’s something about all of this. Will it end up getting better or not? Perhaps. I’ve never had a better time (or excuse) to almost forget everything in the climax of the moment.
I figured why not just go with the flow and leave the odds to the fine statisticians that my friends happen to be. Maybe all of this was waiting to happen. A spark was all it took perhaps and I probably never knew about it. I do not intend to sound fatalistic. By taking the liberty of quoting my professor, I would say that I am ‘cautiously optimistic’. Well, that’s not too bad a deal, right?
That is where the problems arise. A mild sense of paranoia that tears your insides. Have I been oddly happy for something that is actually in all innocence just normal or is there something that’s actually super exciting that is waiting to be jinxed? Or maybe if the status quo prevails, all of this will decay and bring back the mundane in our lives. There is then this miserable and utterly disgusting sense of dread that weighs down on you. You never asked for this. I never wanted this. It was fine a few moments back. There isn’t anything anymore now.
Silence, cold, a void and ourselves are all that we are left with. All those lovely coincidences passed by even before I knew it. Quick to come and go, and painfully slow to forget.
I thought, thought and kept thinking. And there it was again. Another coincidence to light up the moment. Sometimes, I love to forget everything for a moment. We all could do with learning to momentarily forget and cherish that wonderful something in its place.