I held on with all I got. I really did and boy, I tried so much. It was another time when uncertainty suggested that I let go, that I should care a lot less about my struggling will. Well so what? There’ll be another chance right? Maybe or maybe not. Everything comes and goes. Everything will go. Are we willing to try and get a grip? Would I? I tried. There wasn’t much to lose I figured. But what really qualified as ‘much’ in the first place? It could be everything. Perhaps the idea of ‘everything’ exits in a moment and there isn’t much to it a little later, should you want it like that. It’s interesting because I could stretch this moment for as long as I could or I didn’t have to. I could then live in a memory. A better place where’s I’d want to spend my evenings at.
Despite all of that, I figured that there’s a little something to lose. But then it invites a decent amount of perspective. I’m not entirely sure if that’s really worth the experience. The thing about loss and perspective is that we can choose to not let it come into our lives to an extent. But you could easily opt for some, assuming you’re the adventurous kind. Should you be willing to hold on to the potential of perspective that’s waiting to hit you and break you. Maybe that’s okay because the same thing fixes us. It’s alright to show uncertainty its place and hold on. It calls for a lot of suffering but again, that is okay because you signed up for this now. There’s no going back at this stage. Nietzsche famously remarked “To live is to suffer and to survive is to find meaning in suffering”. Maybe perspective isn’t so bad after all.
So, hold on to that.